AN AUTHORS LOVE OF THE ALPHABET   By Ita Roche

Some writers are totally organized; they know exactly what they are going to write about,
how many chapters etc, they have time allotted for writing each day, and they even have word count down to a fine art. As for mé-fein, well now, I am what one might best describe as a spontaneous writer. I spend most of the night hours scribbling what won’t leave the poor
brain cells of my memory bank alone.
Summing up who you are as a writer is not an easy task, and on answering that question this week I found myself replying: 

“Who am I? A 46-year-old nut with an overactive mind and an addiction to a keyboard might
be the quickest answer!” Although apt – I blame my fingertips for that one, as it’s definitely
not something anyone writing from the intellectual left side of the brain would come up with.

But, officially speaking, I am a writer as far as career is concerned. OR, perhaps I
should say I am one of those insane people privileged to be titled an author. It’s definitely
my passion in life, and I simply must write every day, whether published or not – even if only growling to myself about something in my diary.

I feel the high voltage energy of all the info and thoughts would fry my brain otherwise. For me, BFF does not mean, “Best Friends Forever,” it’s “Brain Frigging Frying!” Oh yes,
I have my own lingo for most things, for example, BMW is not just the make of a car, it’s
Bloody Magnificent Wheels, and when asked by Neil my Hyundai dealer if I knew what SUV meant, I smiled sweetly and replied “Some Unfortunate Vehicle.” 
It’s a Sports Utility Vehicle by the way.

Anyway, back to the brain stuff here.

You know the way kids talk about “brain freeze” from eating ice-cream too quick, well,
I get “brain fry” if I spend too long away from my adorable little silver box of technology.
In a worse case scenario when parted too long from my keyboard I whip out my phone and
send some text messages, or write a quick verse and save it to phone memory.
That’s my quick fix to ease the withdrawal symptoms somewhat.  

Should anyone have the audacity to accuse me of having an affair, it would definitely
be with my laptop. The tempting curvature of the magnificent O, or the tantalizing straight
lines of the capital T. I tread carefully eyeing up the W for it can play havoc with my vertigo,
and how the mind boggles with the mere thoughts of the Z’s moves. But playing with all
26 of my adorable little friends, boy what a party, I run amok!

I spend endless hours caressing the alphabet during the night, when I should be recharging
my batteries in happy-snoozy land – sometimes even battering my letter friends
with frustration when things don’t go right, just as one would in an argument with a lover.

Divorce for me will not come along the lines of, “sorry darling I’ve got a headache again,”
but more like, “oh please darling just a few more minutes to finish off this piece and
I’ll be up”– knowing full well that means finger tapping my way into yet another awesome daybreak.

I start most days with raw fingertips, stiff neck and numb backside – and,
unfortunately it’s not from any martial activities. Yet, back I go every night for more
of the same insanity. The highlight of night time for me is propped up in my bed writing,
and when I do fall asleep it’s with note pad, pens, pencils, erasers, books, diaries and
laptop at hands reach on the bed should something dawn on me during my slumber.
And, I regularly wake up, write, and go back to sleep again – TOTAL ADDICTION!
But, look on the bright side, GREAT contraception! 100% guaranteed, and short of dying,
there is not much in this life 100% guaranteed.

I remember on one occasion asking my beloved husband, (in the midst of hanky-panky
I might add) if he could hold that thought for just one minute while I scribble down the
few words that had came to me. Well, it was a great line, and, I have a disastrous memory,
AND, every author knows it’s a cardinal sin to loose a line of thought that can lead
to a great story.

Yes, I can see the headlines clearly now– Woman divorced – Husband, children, and home neglected, and all for the love of the alphabet!